It’s okay not to feel okay

We often hear that shift your perspective towards life, be more optimistic or you are just overthinking. I’m here to tell you that you are allowed to feel what you feel because if something has bothered you more than a day, it’s a matter of concern to you. It is to all folks who think that the world isn’t kind to you, then I’am sorry. Please do not force yourself to think otherwise, or else it would negate your emotions which isn’t right.

You gave so much of yourself to folks around you who made you feel like you are difficult to love, understand, or asked you to apologise for the way you cared. You must have experienced certain things at the hand of love/heart that caused you to stop believing in kindness in the first place. Even if you do, you chose to close all the doors with the best lock and just stay aloof. I’m sorry that love wasn’t your safe place for you, whenever you entered here, you always have to move out of it with fear, anger, anxieties, and sadness. Love is meant to bring compassion/peace, I’m sorry if you didn’t experience this.

You must be believing that no matter what you do, the world at times failed to protect your soul. All you feel like doing is burry your soul somewhere and no one can dig into it. No one wants to hate people, and if someone says ‘they are done with folks around’, understand they were hurt multiple times by certain beings and in turn, they became cold. It’s difficult to carry this weight inside oneself, and one who does it, only knows the burden of it. At times life throws us into situations that we aren’t prepared for, In circumstances, you could not weather on your own but the only person you could bank on was you.

I’m sorry that the world took on so many parts of you in different stages of your life. The moment you looked for hope and warmth, all roads must have ended in deadlock. All you could do is hug yourself and make yourself comfortable by having chai from the nearby ‘tapri’. All you are looking for is a safe place to land on but roads are just filled with so many thorns, that you now want to rest. I’m sorry you were not given the warmth, hug, or love when you needed it the most.

I know it’s hard to move on and believe again in the beauty of life. But all I want to say is this is just the moment of your life and not your entire life. Don’t let these scars define your next years of life. Acknowledge your emotions, wake up from the bed and start a feeling of ‘fresh’ in your soul. Trust me, it will get better from here only when you want it to be better.

This, too, shall pass.